Muse Mugging Monday
Writng Prompt: Start a story with “My life changed forever when my car stalled in front of a creepy, open gate.”
Inspirational Quote: “Sometimes there is no darker place than our thoughts, the moonless midnight of the mind.” – Dean Koontz
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: Write a story about a baker who is able to use truth as an ingredient. All who eat his baked goods have to tell the truth for an entire day.
Inspirational Quote: “Truth is so rare that it is delightful to tell it.” – Emily Dickinson
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: Start a story with: “It was an ordinary day until a character from my favorite movie asked for my help to save the world.”
Inspirational Quote: “Remember, the essence of storytelling demands that we place our main characters on a path. A quest with something at stake, with something to do, to achieve, to learn, and to change.” – Larry Brooks – Story Engineering
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: You are an alien on a ship headed toward Earth in the year 2036. What are the first five things you see when you transport to the surface of the planet?
Inspirational Quote: “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Trailer Park Shark vs. Gold Medal Man
Keep your hands and feet inside the confines of your easy chair–Shark Week is circling! It attacks July 23 and lasts an entire week on the Discovery Channel and SYFY.
Before I begin my musings about the annual fest to pay homage to an eating machine, let me set the stage by asking you to imagine a cello. The Jaws theme begins. Come on, you can hear it–it’s two stinkin’ notes. Even I, possessing a cello I can’t play, can manage two notes. So now that you have that playing in your head, let’s continue.
For the past two weeks, I’ve seen advertisements for Shark Week in the form of sharks on a plane, Shark Week T-shirts, Shark After Dark nail polish, and Deep Sea Delight ice cream cupcakes. Then there is shark on a Seal. Unfortunately, the shark wasn’t interested in a Kiss From a Rose, it wanted pop star nosh.
The Discovery Channel lineup for the week of July 23rd – 30th offers scenes of serial killing sharks (because after the first attack they’re apparently serial killers), devil sharks, and a shark safari. There are also alien sharks, which I think could be a possible crossover event with SYFY. The main event for Discovery this year is Commotion in the Ocean–Michael Phelps vs. Great White. No gloves, mouthguards, or jock straps for this one, it’s a race to see who is the fastest swimmer. Should we watch through our fingers like I did when I saw Jaws for the first time? Will Great White decide feed rather than speed is the goal? I guess we’ll see.
Let’s move on to the SYFY B lineup. There are some real winners for Shark Week 2017. 5-Headed Shark Attack (because 5 is way better than 4), Mississippi River Sharks, Toxic Shark, Trailer Park Shark (the things I envision here would take an entire post), Empire of the Sharks, and (drumroll) Sharknado 5: Global Swarming, tagline: “Make America Bait Again”. Unbelievable, isn’t it? Who knew that idea would fly…5 times? I guess Tara Reid and Ian Ziering still need grocery money.
I will have to say, I am disappointed that SYFY hasn’t taken my suggestion for one of their spectacular movie events. I want to see T-rex Hex. An evil warlock places a hex on (name the city) for shutting down his warlock consulting business. He turns the long-armed city council into short-armed dinosaurs and mayhem ensues. (What? It’s at least as good as Sharknado!) Just an FYI for all of you who are fans of 80’s romance covers, Fabio will be playing the part of the Pope in Sharknado 5. I think I’ll insist on Fabio playing the part of the evil warlock in T-rex Hex as well…now that would be worth the price of admission!
Two Weeks and a 9.6 oz Bag of M&M’s Later…
Two weeks ago, I began the task of switching hosting sites and overhauling my website. What a chore! It took a week to release my domain name from hosting site prison, then we, my (everything-to-do-with-computers-guru) husband and I began transferring all of my website files to a new WordPress theme on a new hosting site. OMG! What a lot of work, crying, and gnashing of teeth! Because The Guru wanted me to learn how to do it myself, it was a painfully LONG process. Every time I thought I had a problem figured out, two more popped up. Then there were my cats, who knew when I was in the middle of something that I had to concentrate on. Deep into “how the hell do I make this work” it was time for them to be on the desk in front of the computer screen or swatting everything off of the desk. Today, thank you, Jesus, it is done. Now all I have to do is come up with some interesting posts and finish the book I’m working on…yeah, that’s all…no sweat. It might take another 9.6 oz bag or two of Caramel M&M’s before that happens, but God knows I am trying. Come by, visit my new site, and tell me what you think. Oh yeah, just in case anyone cares, I have an SSL certificate which supposedly makes my site “safe”. No bugs biting my visitors. 🙂
Avoid the Red Circle of Curiosity or Get Soap in Your Eye
I have a habit of checking the notifications on my various social media sites before I get up in the morning. I had one Pinterest notification this morning and opened the app thinking it would be a picture of a cute animal or the latest idea for inventive Christmas table decorations. Before I could open the notification, the Pinterest algorithm thought it would be nice to lay a trap for me on the front page. It was a black and white picture of a man, standing beside a chair. At his feet was a big, red circle. My better judgment said don’t click. The caption read, “People In The 1800’s Did This With Dead Bodies”. This man is alive, or so I thought, and there is definitely something on the floor behind his feet inside the red circle. I squint, but the thing on the floor is too small to identify, and so my journey through Victorian postmortem photography takes a morbid turn. The thing in the red circle was a contraption to hold the dead up in a posed position while the photographer snapped pics of them, usually with their eyes open, and sometimes with their live relatives standing around them.
I will admit I do like interesting cemetery monuments, and I do have Pinterest boards with photographs I took of said monuments, but what would make Pinterest think I would want to see the dead people who sleep beneath those monuments posed as if they were alive?
As a writer, I have a vivid imagination. The characters from my books are real and in living color in my mind. This morning, after taking the red-circle bait, I had morbid black and white characters in my mind, staring at me with lifeless, open eyes as I stepped into the shower. For sanity’s sake, sometimes you have to keep one eye open even though there may be the sting of soap in it. Take my advice and don’t get sucked into the red circle of curiosity—especially before a shower.
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt
Write a short story using this first line: The text message said ‘Meet me in the cemetery at midnight…I’ll have the evidence you need’.
Inspirational Quote
“I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.”
– Harry Emerson Fosdick
Gladiator Cats & Big-Girl G-strings
Some days are frustrating. We can’t avoid them, but why cry when you can laugh about the stuff that gets under your skin? Here are a few of my unfavorite things:
My cats use the bathtub as a gladiator ring…no soak for the weary until fur is removed.
Sure, two pieces of toilet paper are sufficient for my needs. Am I the only person qualified in roll replacement?
My prize, for wrangling the stray cart in the parking lot rodeo, is a plastic bag of overpriced milk and bread.
It’s a hotdog conspiracy designed to keep you buying more buns for the extra hotdogs and more hotdogs for extra buns.
The fifth little piggies go wee, wee, wee at the blister-rubbing sock seams.
No, I didn’t want to make it to my appointment on time. I’ll catch the next green light after you’ve finished your text.
One press of the toaster lever does not toast to the proper brownness. The second press results in blackening by dragon’s breath.
I don’t understand you. If I wanted help from a foreigner, I would move to a foreign country.
Pardon me, am I interrupting your tweet check? I thought we were having dinner. #RudeDateEatsAlone
For the love of lingerie, panty makers, design big-girl underwear with the appropriately sized crotch. If I wanted G-strings, I would buy them…on purpose…
