Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: Write a short story using the first line: The text message said, ‘Meet me in the cemetery at midnight…I’ll have the evidence you need’.
Inspirational Quote: “I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.”
-Harry Emerson Fosdick
Gladiator Cats & Big-Girl G-Strings
Some days are frustrating. We can’t avoid them, but why cry when you can laugh about stuff that gets under your skin? Here are a few of my unfavorite things:
My cats use the bathtub as a gladiator ring…no soak for the weary until fur is removed.
Sure, two pieces of toilet paper are sufficient for my needs. Am I the only person qualified for roll replacement?
My prize for wrangling the stray cart in the parking lot rodeo is a plastic bag of overpriced milk and bread.
It’s a hotdog conspiracy designed to keep you buying more buns for the extra hotdogs and more hotdogs for the extra buns.
The fifth little piggies go wee, wee, wee at the blister-rubbing sock seam.
No, I didn’t want to make it to my appointment on time. I’ll catch the next green light after you’ve finished your text.
One press of the toaster lever does not toast to the proper brownness. The second press results in blackening by dragon’s breath.
I don’t understand you. If I wanted help from a foreigner, I would move to a foreign country.
Pardon me, am I interrupting your tweet check? I thought we were having dinner. #RudeDateEatsAlone
For the love of lingerie, panty makers, please design big-girl underwear with an appropriately-sized crotch. If I wanted G-strings, I would buy them on purpose.
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: While on a hike in a remote area, you discover a tunnel that you walk through. At the end of the tunnel, you are transported to another place and/or another time. Where are you?
Inspirational Quote: “The way that people feel changes everything. Feelings are forces. They cause us to time travel. And to leave ourselves, to leave our bodies. I would be that kind of psychologist who says ‘you’re absolutely right-there are monsters under the bed’.”
-Helen Oyeyemi
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: On your eighteenth birthday, your mother reveals that you are not human. She presents you with a leather-bound book that explains your nonhuman origin. What are you? How does knowing this change your life?
Inspirational Quote: “You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we’re doing it.”
-Neil Gaiman
Farewell to Cajunville
After my four-year visit to Louisiana, South Carolina is welcoming me home with smiling faces and open arms. It is the state of palmetto trees, palmetto bugs (pterodactyl roaches), the shag, peaches, plantations, sweet tea, and sweetgrass baskets. I have missed SC and am glad to be claiming it as my home again.
As for Cajunville, I have enjoyed my stay and have learned some things while living in the Pelican State. Here are a few of my observations:
Fat Tuesday means playing hooky from work, grabbing Mardi Gras beads, and baking plastic babies into pastry.
Crawdads are best served “Hot and Juicy” according to the locals. (I can’t attest to this as I don’t eat mudbugs).
LSU fans will do anything to pay homage to their team…cheese carving included.
Louisiana has parishes instead of counties, and beignets instead of donuts.
Lagniappe (lan-yap) is a gratuitous gift given with a purchase or “a little something extra”. I don’t remember getting anything extra with any of my purchases unless you count the mints I grabbed on the way out of restaurants. In Louisiana’s defense, four years wasn’t enough time to patronize every establishment…I may have missed the ones that gave lagniappe.
A lucky shirt is required to catch big gators.
The Rougarou (roo-ga-roo) ventures out of the swamp and hunts Catholics who break the rules of Lent. (It’s good to be Baptist in this state).
It’s HOT, it’s HUMID, and unlike southern California, it rains just about every afternoon during the summer. Even if you’re not technically in a flood zone…trust me, you’re in a flood zone! Which brings up a question I’ve had from day one: why are most Louisiana houses built on slabs? It would make more sense to build everything on stilts…just a thought.
It’s useful to know a little French so you can understand some of the local words and phrases such as Vieux Carre (voo ca-ray) – “old quarter” mainly pertaining to the oldest neighborhood in New Orleans, the French quarter. Another word that may be handy to know for all of those voodoo emergencies is Gris Gris (gre-gre) – an object used to ward off evil. For those of you who are fans of Cajun cuisine, there is Bon Appetit – “good appetite” (you will need a good appetite and a roll of tums to stomach the spicy heat). The most popular phrase used by Cajuns is Laissez les bon temps rouler (lay-zay lay bon ton rule-ay) “let the good times roll”…not to be confused with the fictitious Louisiana town Bon Temps where Sookie Stackhouse hangs out with her vampire friends. Although, they frequently let the good times roll there as well.
Last, but most important, there are great people in Louisiana. HeartLa, the Baton Rouge chapter of Romance Writers of America, has been my home away from home. I have learned from them, laughed with them, and served as their secretary. They are friends that I will greatly miss. Without them, I will be that mysterious billionaire author (I’m aiming high) who hasn’t been seen in a long time…except for my closest relatives. I don’t want anyone knocking down my door because I’m not answering texts or attending family reunions. Note: I will be a recluse without my writing friends, but I won’t be peeing in jars…that was a special kind of crazy reserved for Howard Hughes.
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: What is your personal definition of perseverance? Think of all you’ve overcome because you just didn’t give up. Write about a memorable event in your life in which you were rewarded for your persistence even if the reward was merely personal satisfaction.
Inspirational Quote: “…you’re going to want to take the entire manuscript and throw it in the trash at times, but you know you’re going to get through it…I think if one word describes any writer in the world it’s perseverance…If I had any piece of advice for anyone out there to finish any job it would be, don’t stop, just don’t stop…get to it and get through it.”
-Rita Clay Estrada
Rita was the first president and a founding member of Romance Writers of America. The RITA, RWA’s signature award for romance writing excellence, is the namesake of Rita.
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: What’s in your inspiration jar? Imagine you have a jar beside your writing station. All of your unfinished plots and skeletal characters reside there, waiting to be liberated. You decide to uncork that jar today. Who or what pops out, demanding your attention?
Inspirational Quote: “People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy…and I keep it in a jar on my desk.”
-Stephen King
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: Writers always know they want to be writers. They have nine months of womb time to stew in literary thoughts until that magical moment when they’re able to grab that first writing instrument. Create a womb diary and chronicle the thoughts and experiences of an infant writer in the womb.
Inspirational Quote: I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
-Lily Tomlin
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: Nothing warms the romantic’s heart more than a first kiss and the nuances of that magical moment when two souls merge. Write a scene in which two of your least compatible characters discover they are attracted to each other. End the scene with a passionate kiss.
Inspirational Quote: “The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.”
-Oliver Wendell Holmes
Muse Mugging Monday
Writing Prompt: You have received a package in the mail which contains a pocket watch that runs counterclockwise. You discover the watch allows you to go back in time. Who sent you the watch and why? How do you make the most of your extra time?
Inspirational Quote: “Clocks slay time…time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.”
-William Faulkner
